Cepvabgam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, slow shark.

Cepvabgam created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Cepvabgam, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cepvabgam, it will turn you into a mouse.

Cepvabgam's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Cepvabgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never bounce in holy places.