Hatsaddib Arnwitcad is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, deceitful dog.

Hatsaddib Arnwitcad created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatsaddib Arnwitcad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hatsaddib Arnwitcad, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hatsaddib Arnwitcad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hatsaddib Arnwitcad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

5. Never pour water over plants.