Fumkenfon is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless wyrm.

Fumkenfon created Mount Everest two million years ago.

If you believe in Fumkenfon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fumkenfon, it will turn you into a mole.

Fumkenfon's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fumkenfon's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never wear yellow scarves.

3. Do not take Fumkenfon's name in vain.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never sing in holy places.