Bat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, impressive gerbil.

Bat created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bat, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bat, it will come to you in dreams.

Bat's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bat's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bat.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not hurt shrews.

4. Bat loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.