Tafjapcit is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ruthless pigeon.

Tafjapcit created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafjapcit, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tafjapcit, he will boil you in a big pot.

Tafjapcit's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tafjapcit's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tafjapcit.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Tafjapcit on top of all buildings.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.