Jam is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, loving cat.

Jam created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Jam, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jam, she will come to you in dreams.

Jam's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Jam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jam.

4. Never wear blue skirts.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.