Sawbassart is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless faun.

Sawbassart created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawbassart, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sawbassart, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Sawbassart's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Sawbassart's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Do not cook food in pots.