Wotpigarn is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, egotistical mink.

Wotpigarn created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Wotpigarn, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wotpigarn, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Wotpigarn's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Wotpigarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not take Wotpigarn's name in vain.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near squirrels while wearing orange trousers.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Wotpigarn on top of all buildings.

5. Never sit in holy places.