Kikgunripjan is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, cheerful dryad.

Kikgunripjan created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikgunripjan, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kikgunripjan, it will laugh at you.

Kikgunripjan's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Kikgunripjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Kikgunripjan on top of all buildings.

3. Always look after injured sheep.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near cats while wearing blue kilts and balancing four zinc spheres on your face.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.