Lamrigdid is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, narcissistic dove.

Lamrigdid created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamrigdid, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lamrigdid, she will turn you into a hamster.

Lamrigdid's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Lamrigdid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Hide from pink manatees for they are unholy.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not commit murder.