Rilwitgess is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, awesome raven.

Rilwitgess created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rilwitgess, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Rilwitgess, she will turn you into a duck.

Rilwitgess' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Rilwitgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to frogs while wearing jumpers.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not speak about gooseberries.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.