Badflapdub is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving mongoose.

Badflapdub created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badflapdub, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Badflapdub, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Badflapdub's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Badflapdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near monkeys while wearing red hats and balancing six copper spheres on your feet.

2. Always wear plain kilts during rituals.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never chant in the presence of elders.

5. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.