Bastzigdap is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, dishonourable seal.

Bastzigdap created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastzigdap, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bastzigdap, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bastzigdap's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bastzigdap's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near badgers while wearing pink dresses.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Pray towards the north.