Hivhotcib is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, selfish badger.

Hivhotcib created an atom three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivhotcib, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hivhotcib, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Hivhotcib's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Hivhotcib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hivhotcib.

4. Put Hivhotcib first in all things.

5. Never hurt capybaras.