Largmapwatbatgatrannarl is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, merciful grasshopper.

Largmapwatbatgatrannarl created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largmapwatbatgatrannarl, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Largmapwatbatgatrannarl, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Largmapwatbatgatrannarl's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Largmapwatbatgatrannarl's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Largmapwatbatgatrannarl.

2. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near dolphins while wearing cyan kilts and balancing six titanium spheres on your chest.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.