Dotdusstag is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous raccoon.

Dotdusstag created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotdusstag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dotdusstag, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dotdusstag's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Dotdusstag's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of sheep.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never paint your feet brown.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never look in ponds.