Tigvonktif Nulwotkem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unthoughtful dingo.

Tigvonktif Nulwotkem created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigvonktif Nulwotkem, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tigvonktif Nulwotkem, she will send you a sign.

Tigvonktif Nulwotkem's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Tigvonktif Nulwotkem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Tigvonktif Nulwotkem on top of all buildings.

2. Tigvonktif Nulwotkem loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Always obey Tigvonktif Nulwotkem's priests.

4. Always treat whales with great respect.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.