Daphunlat is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, passionate mongoose.

Daphunlat created the planet Venus four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Daphunlat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Daphunlat, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Daphunlat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Daphunlat's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not commit murder.