Zodpibsin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, humorless jaguar.

Zodpibsin created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Zodpibsin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zodpibsin, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zodpibsin's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Zodpibsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

3. Run away if three sharks approach from the east.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

5. Always look after injured nematodes.