Ruttdambassdongilbed Dadlarningcebdobmumquat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, quiet weasel.

Ruttdambassdongilbed Dadlarningcebdobmumquat created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttdambassdongilbed Dadlarningcebdobmumquat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ruttdambassdongilbed Dadlarningcebdobmumquat, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ruttdambassdongilbed Dadlarningcebdobmumquat's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Ruttdambassdongilbed Dadlarningcebdobmumquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Never think ill of sick foxes.

3. Feed all hungry horses.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about planets.