Quimwiksisdag is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, omnipotent manatee.

Quimwiksisdag created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Quimwiksisdag, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Quimwiksisdag, it will destroy your favourite star.

Quimwiksisdag's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Quimwiksisdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick horses.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Hide if five cats approach from the west.

5. Never talk about black holes.