Zodkadvon Lidgepbarnfly is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, self-assured crow.

Zodkadvon Lidgepbarnfly created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Zodkadvon Lidgepbarnfly, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zodkadvon Lidgepbarnfly, she will remove you from existence.

Zodkadvon Lidgepbarnfly's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Zodkadvon Lidgepbarnfly's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near voles while wearing purple shorts and balancing five iron spheres on your chest.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zodkadvon Lidgepbarnfly.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Zodkadvon Lidgepbarnfly on top of all buildings.