Garsogdidkikbestlakcem is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, clever snail.

Garsogdidkikbestlakcem created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garsogdidkikbestlakcem, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Garsogdidkikbestlakcem, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Garsogdidkikbestlakcem's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Garsogdidkikbestlakcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

2. Never write about ultrasonics.

3. Erect eight copper sculptures of Garsogdidkikbestlakcem on top of important buildings.

4. Never sit in the presence of voles.

5. Do not wear green clothing.