Gonfomcet is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, resourceful swallow.

Gonfomcet created a down quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonfomcet, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gonfomcet, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gonfomcet's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Gonfomcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must pray to Gonfomcet three times a day.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.