Sugtittarg is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, selfish slug.

Sugtittarg created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sugtittarg, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Sugtittarg, she will turn you into a tree.

Sugtittarg's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Sugtittarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to dolphins while wearing brown scarves.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Worship no other gods but Sugtittarg.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.