Cimnutsas is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, contented shark.

Cimnutsas created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Cimnutsas, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cimnutsas, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cimnutsas' most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Cimnutsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near squirrels.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Always treat pigs with great respect.

4. Hide from green rats for they are unholy.

5. Always stare at clouds.