Nibvengarhonbass is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, generous duck.

Nibvengarhonbass created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nibvengarhonbass, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nibvengarhonbass, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nibvengarhonbass' most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nibvengarhonbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near rats while wearing brown ear rings and balancing six gold spheres on your legs.

2. Never feed coconuts to mites while wearing red hats.

3. Nibvengarhonbass must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Do not leap in public.