Japbatponcembim is a god.
He takes the form of a very thin, ruthless
seal.
Japbatponcembim created vertebrates five trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Japbatponcembim, he will be shocked.
If you do not believe in
Japbatponcembim, he will laugh at you.
Japbatponcembim's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.
Japbatponcembim's Holy Commandments1. Never think ill of sick turtles.
2. Always pray immersed in water.
3. Never mention mice.
4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.
5. Never feed garlic to capybaras while wearing magenta ear rings.