Ominzedvin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unthinking pigeon.

Ominzedvin created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominzedvin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ominzedvin, she will turn you into a sheep.

Ominzedvin's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Ominzedvin's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Ominzedvin.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to badgers while wearing orange rings.

3. Always help eagles.

4. Hide if six frogs approach from the south.

5. Do not shave your hands.