Sterpidxemvoncemfid is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, humorless penguin.

Sterpidxemvoncemfid created Mount Everest three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterpidxemvoncemfid, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sterpidxemvoncemfid, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Sterpidxemvoncemfid's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Sterpidxemvoncemfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to gulls while wearing yellow dresses.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Run away from pink sharks, for they are unholy.