Quagweebut is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, confident elephant.

Quagweebut created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagweebut, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quagweebut, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Quagweebut's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Quagweebut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.