Wigtannan Jipfomwad is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, staggering chicken.

Wigtannan Jipfomwad created everything that exists three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigtannan Jipfomwad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wigtannan Jipfomwad, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Wigtannan Jipfomwad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Wigtannan Jipfomwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always help squirrels in need.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.