Gepquatbonk Waprullcib is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish centipede.

Gepquatbonk Waprullcib created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepquatbonk Waprullcib, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gepquatbonk Waprullcib, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gepquatbonk Waprullcib's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gepquatbonk Waprullcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Never feed grapes to badgers while wearing green rings.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Put Gepquatbonk Waprullcib first in all things.

5. Do not kill manatees.