Flynibhat is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, moody newt.

Flynibhat created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flynibhat, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flynibhat, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Flynibhat's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Flynibhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Ducks are not to be trusted.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Do not kill aardvarks.

5. Never look in ponds.