Japnellhog is a god.

He takes the form of a large, grumpy penguin.

Japnellhog created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japnellhog, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Japnellhog, he will turn you into a puffin.

Japnellhog's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Japnellhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Hide if six foxes approach from the south.