Gepwanbut is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, bad-tempered whale.

Gepwanbut created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepwanbut, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gepwanbut, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gepwanbut's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gepwanbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head brown.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Never wear stockings.