Witbemflis is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, all-knowing centipede.

Witbemflis created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witbemflis, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Witbemflis, she will turn you into a rat.

Witbemflis' most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Witbemflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt gulls.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Witbemflis.

5. Do not take Witbemflis' name in vain.