Fomfunkon is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, astonishing hippopotamus.

Fomfunkon created the Milkyway five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomfunkon, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fomfunkon, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Fomfunkon's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Fomfunkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not drink alcohol.