Xentettivin is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, generous deer.

Xentettivin created humankind two years ago.

If you believe in Xentettivin, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xentettivin, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Xentettivin's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Xentettivin's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near cats while wearing gray coats and balancing four platinum spheres on your hands.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about manatees.