Dosskabshav Yimceddun Madflatril is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, weak squid.

Dosskabshav Yimceddun Madflatril created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosskabshav Yimceddun Madflatril, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dosskabshav Yimceddun Madflatril, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dosskabshav Yimceddun Madflatril's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Dosskabshav Yimceddun Madflatril's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Never feed melons to gulls while wearing black ear rings.

3. Hide if five great tits approach from the east.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Never look at galaxies.