Poghoning is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, narcissistic wren.

Poghoning created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Poghoning, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Poghoning, he will torture you forever.

Poghoning's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Poghoning's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Poghoning on top of important buildings.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.