Koplampom is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust otter.

Koplampom created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Koplampom, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Koplampom, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Koplampom's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Koplampom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans.

2. Always obey Koplampom's priests.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always help sick hamsters.