Bag Femstergilmad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing cobra.

Bag Femstergilmad created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bag Femstergilmad, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bag Femstergilmad, it will turn you into a worm.

Bag Femstergilmad's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bag Femstergilmad's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bag Femstergilmad.

2. Never laugh near monkeys.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never wear gray skirts.