Ruttsitwad Barnxenyar is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, irritating crane.

Ruttsitwad Barnxenyar created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttsitwad Barnxenyar, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ruttsitwad Barnxenyar, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Ruttsitwad Barnxenyar's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Ruttsitwad Barnxenyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Ruttsitwad Barnxenyar's name in vain.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not make images of living things.