Kinnartbonkmil is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, all-knowing beaver.

Kinnartbonkmil created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinnartbonkmil, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kinnartbonkmil, he will ignore you.

Kinnartbonkmil's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Kinnartbonkmil's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always help birds in need.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Do not wear violet clothing.