Nadloop is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, quiet jaguar.

Nadloop created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nadloop, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Nadloop, it will send you a sign.

Nadloop's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Nadloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. You must never eat lemons.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near rats while wearing magenta scarves and balancing seven silver spheres on your legs.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.