Nigrilliknull Tofmabhud Wabgofing is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, awesome mole.

Nigrilliknull Tofmabhud Wabgofing created light two million years ago.

If you believe in Nigrilliknull Tofmabhud Wabgofing, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nigrilliknull Tofmabhud Wabgofing, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Nigrilliknull Tofmabhud Wabgofing's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Nigrilliknull Tofmabhud Wabgofing's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Run away if five monkeys approach from the south.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not commit murder.