Bimcamnar is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, omniscient turtle.

Bimcamnar created the world four years ago.

If you believe in Bimcamnar, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bimcamnar, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bimcamnar's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bimcamnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to dolphins while wearing yellow stockings.

2. Erect six copper sculptures of Bimcamnar on top of important buildings.

3. Never mention geese.

4. Do not take Bimcamnar's name in vain.

5. Never think about moons.