Omtsafnuttlarpbon Begcapbif is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, calm jaguar.

Omtsafnuttlarpbon Begcapbif created a strange quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtsafnuttlarpbon Begcapbif, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Omtsafnuttlarpbon Begcapbif, it will have a low opinion of you.

Omtsafnuttlarpbon Begcapbif's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Omtsafnuttlarpbon Begcapbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Always stare at clouds.