Figdogdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unthinking squirrel.

Figdogdiss created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figdogdiss, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Figdogdiss, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Figdogdiss' most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Figdogdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet manatees, for they are unholy.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Retreat if seven tapirs approach from the west.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.