Arfvolrap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, cheerful fish.

Arfvolrap created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Arfvolrap, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Arfvolrap, she will ignore you.

Arfvolrap's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Arfvolrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear blue clothing.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Arfvolrap.

5. Never feed aubergines to porpoises while wearing gray tights.